Someone Stole a Package off My Porch

Of course I suppose that there are people who do this sort of thing all of the time. They get behind one of those UPS or FedEx trucks and follow them around to see when they leave stuff on the porches of people. At any rate the other day my neighbor told me about some guy who ran up to my porch and then ran off with a package. It was something Jennie had ordered, a few bars of handmade soap, some deodorant and some sunscreen. It was all organic, which is a really big thing for her. She got to where she is very self conscious about the stuff that she puts on her skin, which is a smart thing I suppose. In fact it is a strange thing for me that women put all of these weird things on their faces and other parts of their skin. It seems like no one is designed for that and it can not really not have a negative effect on the people that use it. It has to do stuff to your pores. Of course I hardly ever wear any of that stuff, which is great about being a man.

At any rate the neighbor thought this was something vital and he tried to run after this guy, but he cut through some woods and disappeared. He called the police, but they were not very excited about it. In fact he had such a vague description that it could have been me. He said it was a guy in his twenties with brown hair and a red t shirt. I was not wearing a red t shirt, but the rest of it was me. Of course the people at UPS will replace the order and it is not a big deal, although I suspect the thief is going to be very disappointed.

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